Vow Joker Gifts

"And do you, Robert, promise not to breakdance at the reception?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Joust Sharpener

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Jogging Bottoms

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Toilet humour

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

False encouragement.

No infrastructure problem here

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."