Vow Joker Gifts

"And do you, Robert, promise not to breakdance at the reception?"

Banana Split...

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Get crazy once in a while

Joust Sharpener

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Jogging Bottoms

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

Toilet humour

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

False encouragement.

No infrastructure problem here

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.