Voting Skeptic Gifts

Elections.

'I never vote for anybody. I always vote against!'

'Sure, I got a hobby -- punching out pollsters.'

EXIT POLLS, 14TH PRECINCT, 'May I ask who you voted for, sir?', 'Please! -- I'm trying to forget!'

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Politicians are from Uranus.

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

Doing Something About the Weather

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

QANON PROUD BOY

Vote for Ken and his congestion charge.

Alternative Accountants

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

Man with t-shirt: 'I think, therefore I don't vote'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

If everyone agrees with you, you're probably wrong.

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

Warning! All Manifestos May Contain Traces of Truth.

Politics section of a library: 'Lies', 'Lies', or 'Damn Lies'.

"We should have copies of all the latest manifestos Sir. Try the horror, fantasy and science fiction section."

"...and which of the election candidates do you dislike the least?"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

"Perhaps it's a bit early to tell, but I'll bet the Presidential visit changes nothing."

'Well, besides 'liar, liar, pants on fire', how do you feel about our candidate?'

'It's from that guy we voted in at the last election.'

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."