Civic Skeptic Gifts

'Voter apathy is on the increase again.', 'Who cares?'

'He's an inspiration to us all -- he evaded the draft, taxes, AND questions.'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

CIA report

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

Why do you hate the media?

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

Politicians are from Uranus.

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

The Mainstream

All-Purpose Obamatoon

Classic News.

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

"Climate change is not real. It's fake climate!"

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

The following story is based on actual events.

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

Turnkey Totalitarianism

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

"Now remember...no lies about the government...only lies from the government."

No Unknown Unknowns

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."