Voting Season Gifts

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

In a post-'Roe' world, women still have choices.

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Elections

"Don't worry, all the politicians are promising that we have a bright future ahead of us..."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Away with the warmonger!"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Political convention

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Trump Poutine

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

'It's historic that the inauguration of a minority is now routine.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

The Russian Election.

"I think it was an election year."

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

Joe Biden