Campaign Season Gifts

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

The Good News about Michael Bloomberg Is That He Won't Bug You

TRUMP

'Don't worry -- if I raise your taxes, you'll be the first to know.'

"Voters appreciate the appearance of authenticity - so that's what I give them."

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

They're Not Just That Into It

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Political convention

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Elections

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

The Russian Election.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"I think it was an election year."

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

Trump Will Protect Obama's Legacy

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

Netanyahu versus Gantz

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

The following is a paid political announcement.