Voltage Virtuoso T-Shirts

"He shows enormous potential."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"Turn down the bass."

Music Freak.

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

'Oh, sow some interest! How many 8-year-olds can play the '1812' on a vacuum hose?'

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

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