Voltage Virtuoso Gifts

"He shows enormous potential."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"Turn down the bass."

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Music Freak.

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

Leonard Cohen

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

Barbara Streisand

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'Oh, sow some interest! How many 8-year-olds can play the '1812' on a vacuum hose?'

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."