Vinyl Virtuoso T-Shirts

The reception here is awful!

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

A cat listening to a record player

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

"Mmmm... Let's see... Little cable cars...ah...ah...halfway to the...to the...aha! To the stars! ...I Left My Heart in San Francisco! Tony Bennett! Right?"

Mix Breed

'You have a wonderfully tidy mind, Diane!'

Music Freak.

MP in a record shop.

'Buy one, you get two free. . .'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Tube men dancing.

Classix Collection: Flight of the Bumblebee

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

VINYL HISS

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Writer

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

Poetry repairman