Volatility Navigator Gifts

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

Made in China.

'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

Seats on the Stock Exhange are now equppied with air bags

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

Food prices.

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Risk Management - ''Be careful' All you can tell me is 'be careful''

Ben Bernanke says no recession yet.

'Congratulations. Your old bloated 401K is now valued as a lean, mean 199F!'

How to bare up in a bare market.

'And their financial E.K.G. shows that they are in excellent health.'

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

'Do you want someone to help you or do you just want someone to hold your hand?'

'Be happy you're not in the Mexican-bottled-water pit.'

Next year will be a good time to buy tech stocks. The tip of the iceberg.

"Economists, and these days we're missing more and more of the poor souls."

'I'm starting to wonder if all my 'Account Executive' got on her broker's exam was nail polish.'

The gold price chart.

Cornucopia of Bankers

"Son, it’s time we had the ‘your mother and me got fleeced by Wall Street and you’ll have to support us’ talk."

Desk Organizers: 'Comply with Government Regulations and Guidelines.'

Chines Dollar

Ben Bernanke