Financial Navigator Gifts

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Step into my time machine, and we'll travel back to when you could get a mortgage on your salary.'

"Quick - diversify into boats!"

'Small business' begging to be let in 'Banks' maze to find a loan

Live Saver.

"Today I got my first bill."

"Gone fishing for a small-business loan"

'Our money problems are over if you don't buy anything next month.'

'How to survive chapter 11.'

Capitalism

'I'll need a bigger allowance now, Dad, or I'll have to get a job.'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'Are we there yet?'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"I am not asking for directions."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

Titanic: How's my steering.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Battery Lighthouse

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'