Financial Navigators Gifts

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

I think I can...

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

'They want to close our lab. What's that all about?'

"It's time to break up the company!!"

'The good news is I've got a part-time job. The bad news is I started the day with a full-time job.'

'We're going to need a bit more than comfortably off, I'm afraid.'

IRS: I Survived the Audit.

...What if I promise to only use half my brain?

Thank you for being so kind and approving my loan application. How can I ever repay you?'

Girl to mom about report card: 'Second grade is hard because all of my training was in the first grade.'

jumping hoops for mortgages and loans...

"Mom, Dad, is my old room ready? It will be nice to take a few years off and rest."

"Gone fishing for a small-business loan"

'I'll need a bigger allowance now, Dad, or I'll have to get a job.'

"We're happy that you got great news on your tests. We're still sending in our grievance counselor to help you cope with your medical bill, though."

"I told him that I was leaving that I couldn't put up with the endless papaerwork..." "And what did he say?" "He asked me to fill out an exit report."

'Sometimes I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day -- but I wouldn't list it under 'career goals.'

'I borrowed so much money to buy this thing I have to time share it with the bank manager!'

'I'm referring you to tech assistance to help figure out your insurance options.'

"Make an appointment for Mr. Rodgers for a follow-up billing."

Oh, look, it's a black hole, a lightless void that never ends … Wait, never mind, that's just my student loan debt.

'How to survive chapter 11.'

A Family Home

When asked what impresses them least in a candidate, most interviewers cite 'not listening to the question'...

'Step into my time machine, and we'll travel back to when you could get a mortgage on your salary.'

"Quick - diversify into boats!"