Vodka Vanguard Gifts

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Science Fair. How viruses spread.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"These new variants are triggering my impostor syndrome."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

Which Hogwarts house are you?

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"How could you forget where you buried dad. You do know he has the car keys in his pocket?"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

Robert Drake

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'It's definitely human flu. Sound the alarm!'

Music Freak.

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"Buy them - and never look back."

"What do you think? Too Edward Gorey?"

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

"You're dated look is an absolute tour de force."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

"What wine goes best with vodka?"