Venture Vanguard Gifts

"Forget the allowance. I'm getting more than I need from venture capital."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"I've stopped chasing rainbows, ever since one of them suddenly turned and bit me in the leg."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"These new variants are triggering my impostor syndrome."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Thatched roof car.

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"How could you forget where you buried dad. You do know he has the car keys in his pocket?"

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Music Freak.

"I'm going on Dragons Den with this, the one-brush-toothbrush."

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

Your start-up team

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

Artists At The Auto Show

"Buy them - and never look back."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

The First Asshole

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

"You still working on your car?"