Vocational Training Enrollment Gifts

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Overjumpers

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Shake! Good Dog."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

Hanging off every word...