Vocational Instructor Gifts

"We've canceled so many technical programs. . . local business and industry is begging for trained people!"

'No, Joan of Arc did not invent welding.'

"No, Joan of Arc did not invent welding."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Kirsten Johnson

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'I need to learn a trade... so I know what kind of work I'm out of.'

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"This is a teaching hospital."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

'Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs!'

'Why English teachers were rarely hung in the old west.'

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

'Is this the small engines class?'

'Then after 'A' Levels I did an NVQ in Cleansing and Hygiene.'