Vocational Educator Gifts

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

'They're going to start teaching paper shredder repair in voc ed since there's a big future in it.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Campaign for Plain English

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

The Evolution Of Man.

'Home Schooling'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Strange and exotic creatures that exist on other planets - and ones that exist here on earth.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"It's up to you to keep the dream alive..."

A salute of scouts

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

The lesser of two evils.

Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

We have to stop surprising each other.