Vocabulary Whiz Gifts

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Dog Park

Sauce for the Goose

Ninedency: A budding tendency

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Nerd tryouts.

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Examinations.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"It's a swearbox."

"You're famous, Angus."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

A gift to complete the man cave.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

Global Positioning Manual

Sub Editor

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'That's a million correct answers in a row!'

'That's Friday, Ed.'

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

Performance Enhancing Lemonade.

Wordplay: Me.

Law 'N' Order

Wordplay: Pantomime.