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"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

Mediterranean Martini

"You folks ready to order?"

Odds 'n Ends/Odd 'n's

"Don't mind me - finish the gag."

'To summarize: the visual joke brings on a very fast reaction, but the verbal joke is remembered longer.'

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"Surprise!"

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

Caution! School Crossing.

"Here's your trouble. The cartoonist can't render a proper red tee fitting."

"It's from my Swiss account."

"It's the deep end."

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."

Underwater campfire.

Porcupine exiting water has skewered fish.

'Caution, Cliche gag ahead' A Driver approaching a the old 'Fork in the road' gag ahead in the road

"Are you still waiting for that site to load?"

"Oh my god! I'm not wearing clean underwear."

Fortune teller singes man's forehead.

"Nice hairball ringtone!"

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

'It was the last time Colin would buy anything on the internet.'

"I can tell you're upset."

"Nobody needs to know it's a snake till it's too late."

A bodiless head sits and eats dinner, while the headless body has a sign which reads 'Out to lunch back at 1:00'

'That's the worst case of eye strain I have ever seen'