Visiting Relatives Gifts

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

I swear that boy has grown another foot since the last time I saw him.

'That was mother. She's coming to stay six months, or until you blow your top.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Children's Party

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

'Next!'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

Stockwell's day

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

Thanksgiving.

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

'You sounded better yesterday.'

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."

Christmas reunions!

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

Hospital Visit

'We need another week to do things and another month to undo things.'

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

'Another hike in college tuition! The costs are already killing my folks!'