Visiting Family Gifts

The next time we stay with your grandparents, we're renting a cave for the night.

'the tire and swinging vine was for the children; the 800 pounds of bananas were when mother visited us last week.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"I wish you'd stop complaining! You're always the same when we visit my mother!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Christmas Tree

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."