Family Visits Gifts

'My grandkids came to visit. They talked mostly about world politics. Kept asking me how I felt about the youth in Asia.'

"You told mother to make herself at home."

'...And you can tell that son-in-law of mine to stop hiding!'

'I hate going to grandma's. Her house smells funny.'

"Next time we visit your mother we stay at a motel!"

"Mom, Dad – this is Gloria."

"Why do we have to visit your mother? Her Facebook tells you everything she's recently said, thought, done, eaten, complained about. . ."

Baldo, I really got to know you on my recent visit. I want you to come see me someday. Here is $300. Save it for your plane fare. Don't even think about using the money to buy a car."

"I know you and Magdalena don't get along too well...but it's great when she visits. She's so giving!"

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

'Don't joke with Aunt Molly while she's sick. Mom says she has a contagious laugh.'

"It's so nice to be home, mum, and have unrestricted use of the telephone again"

You've got company.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'Give auntie Grace a kiss, Billly.'

'Surprise!'

'Oh no! I can't remember what I forgot to bring!'

'Is she teething again?'

'Oh, I don't think grandma still throws eggs at traffic.'

'What I want for Thanksgiving is not to be devoured by Big Shirley.'

'We need another week to do things and another month to undo things.'

'They want to spend the weekend at daddy's.'

"Your great Abuelita Zoraida is coming for a visit! Do you know what that means?"

"...and exactly how long are your parents planning on staying?"

Visiting Grandma

"I brought Tom home to my parents and left him there."

Armstrong, you have visitors. Is it the IRS? Tell them I've died. It's your aunty and grandma. Uh oh. My investors. Must think. Mustn't panic. Panic? Rudy, hide the company ledger and take me to the airport. You've cheated your kin. How's Laos this time of year?

You always make way too much food when we visit, mom.

"She looks just like in your photos."

A sign on the highway reads "Grandmother's House - Use right lane".

"When do your in-laws leave?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'