Visiting Family Pillows

'the tire and swinging vine was for the children; the 800 pounds of bananas were when mother visited us last week.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"I wish you'd stop complaining! You're always the same when we visit my mother!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Christmas Tree

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

celebrating a birth.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."