Family Visit Pillows

"Yes, my family did visit me today... how did you guess?"

"She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop." "That's just like your mother."

I finally figured out that "spoiler alert" is my parent's code for a visit from Grandma.

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'Charlie! Haven't you grown!'

"If you're a good boy, Daddy will let you stay up until eight o'clock, when Grandma goes home."

"Just a warning, kids. Uncle Paul's been stockpiling puns and he's not afraid to use them."

'We need another week to do things and another month to undo things.'

'I'm not really homeless -- I'll go home as soon as my mother-in-law finishes visiting.'

'Quick - Fill in all the weekends before your parents call!'

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

Gee, that's a lot of money for a mattress, maybe your mother will have to stay home this summer.

'Listen, no tantrums, we are going to my mother's!'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"First class, or with children?"

Christmas Tree

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Hi-yah!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"