Visionary Pugilist Gifts

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"So, what are you reading?"

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

Muhammad Dali...

Boxer's Hair Styles.

'Soon as your endorphins kick in, you'll feel great.'

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

Global warming.

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

Optometrist practical jokes

'Darling. Let's get the Gustavssons over this weekend for some more bare knuckle boxing.'

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

'I don't think his fists can take much more of the punishment your head's inflicting on them.'

"...and forget your damn sensitivity training."

'Let him go.' - 'No, he'll hit me again.'

Wordplay: Shock Absorber.

"Er, no. He's out at the moment."

'You sure this is allowed?.'

"You'd better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time."

Shadow Punch

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

A boxer uses a punching bag while he has broken legs.

Boxer with glasses.

Polling Booth - Woman with boxing gloves.

'Well, why isn't there a paperweight class?'

'I should have won that last fight.'

"My husband's ill, so I'm standing in for him."