Pacifist Pugilist Gifts

'Now I want a good clean fight!'

Conscientious objection.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

"So, what are you reading?"

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

'Soon as your endorphins kick in, you'll feel great.'

'A lot of successful politicians opposed the Vietnam war, Senator, but if you were actually a MEMBER of the Viet Cong....'

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

Global warming.

"...and forget your damn sensitivity training."

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

"It's not about win or lose. It's about how much money I'm going to make."

'Such petulance!'

'I don't think his fists can take much more of the punishment your head's inflicting on them.'

'Darling. Let's get the Gustavssons over this weekend for some more bare knuckle boxing.'

'Let him go.' - 'No, he'll hit me again.'

Wordplay: Shock Absorber.

'You sure this is allowed?.'

"Er, no. He's out at the moment."

Shadow Punch

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

No WAR!

The less evolved forms of man are ashamed to be associated with a soldier.

Animals watching peaceful dove on TV, humans watching explosions and violence.

'I don't understand - he's just as strong as ever.'

A baby puts the fuse of a bomb out with its bottle.

A boxer uses a punching bag while he has broken legs.

Gun with an olive branch on it.

"You'd better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time."