Patriotic Pugilist Gifts

Scottish boxer wearing kilt.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

'Did I ever break my nose? No. Three of my opponents did that for me...'

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

'Soon as your endorphins kick in, you'll feel great.'

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

Global warming.

"I can't decide which one of you should get the promotion, so I'm setting up a boxing match between you two to decide."

"Don't be fooled - he's no pushover."

'Darling. Let's get the Gustavssons over this weekend for some more bare knuckle boxing.'

'Such petulance!'

"...and forget your damn sensitivity training."

Mike Tyson

'You've got him worried - he's afraid he's going to kill you!'

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

'I don't think his fists can take much more of the punishment your head's inflicting on them.'

"I can't decide which one of you should get the promotion, so I'm setting up a boxing match between you two to decide."

'Let him go.' - 'No, he'll hit me again.'

"O.K., now can you make like a million little tiny ones?"

'I don't understand - he's just as strong as ever.'

Wordplay: Shock Absorber.

'You sure this is allowed?.'

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

"Er, no. He's out at the moment."

Shadow Punch

A boxer uses a punching bag while he has broken legs.

"You'd better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time."

'I don't understand it. He's just as strong as ever.'

Polling Booth - Woman with boxing gloves.

"My husband's ill, so I'm standing in for him."