Visionary Golfer Gifts

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golf lessons

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

'If you can't control your temper,sister,you shouldn't be playing this game!'

'Don't move.'

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

"Who's the artist?"

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

Golfing with God.

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)

"Duh!"

Golf

Thanks God!

"Let's say that's better without, shall we?"

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

Brian McMahon's hobby? Being hit by as many pro golfers as possible.

Midnight in Minnesota

Luckily I hit the pin!

Rory McIlroy

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Astral Projecting Babushkas