Virtual Golfer Gifts

"I'm going to bed, I have an early tee time tomorrow."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

Golf lessons

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

A man plays golf by the sea

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

'Our gymnasium is being repaired so we played sports games on our computers.'

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'Don't move.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Indoor Football

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

"Hey, dad! How about I find a video game of this we can play together?"

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

'You've been on that Video Game all Day. Go outside and play.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

'Don't you miss the thrill of the chase?'

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

"Duh!"

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

MLB 2020