Visa Applicant Gifts

Romans in Britain - Roman's not in Britain

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'Tell me about your gap year, Mr, Van Winkle,'

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

University of xylongatnyfexodyl never heard of it

Personnel. Don't assume I'm incompetent, give me a chance to prove it!