Applying For A Visa Gifts

Working holiday visa applications: Approved/Wish you were here.

The United States requires information from social networks applicants for a visa

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"What? You like political cartoons??! You won't get a visa!"

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

'Ready?!'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

'Call this one -I like short resumes.'

Latinos in the USA

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

"The position includes three weeks holiday per year."

"You know you could have just brought in written references?"

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

Wow! Look at all these college brochures. You're soo popular! The top colleges in the country want me to apply! Um, Twig. You know they're trolling for applicants to boost their stupid rankings. That's ok. At least I'll be rejected by the very best! You can visit me at Harvard.

I'm forgetting which college is which. Their brochures are all alike. University of. It's always fall or spring. Apply! There's always a multi-cultural group of kids hanging out. There's always a girl in goggles working in a science lab with an ethnic-looking prof. It's reassuring. They all celebrate their diversity in the exact same way! And charge the exact same for it!

The Cuban government studies the possiblity of allowing residents to travel outside the country as tourists.

"You've heard of 'The Bank that likes to say 'YES''. . . well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."