Virus Variant Virtuoso Gifts

'Which? Covid-19 Variant' Guide.

Prize vegetables.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

An informed voter is a good voter

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Poetry repairman

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Writer

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

Music Freak.

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

"Turn down the bass."

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

'Is your verdict unanimous?'