Virtual Teacher Gifts

'I switched from yoga to visualization, for relaxation. I picture a world in which all students with discipline problems attend my class online, from their homes.'

Pajama Day 743

Nervous Oral Testing

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"So. . . now we know - being home is not the same as being home to be schooled. . ."

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

'I was working on my online degree, until my computer went on sabbatical.'

"Remote teaching isn't good for torturing a substitute. For that you need a live audience."

"Whose idea was it to create a Zoom session for first graders?"

"Would you like me to show you how to use powerpoint?"

'I need ur homework ASAP!'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

It's often meant as a compliment, but in this case saying he's "in a class by himself" is not a good thing.

"Boy, Dr. Perkins, are you a 'site' for sore eyes!"

"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"

'How do you explain losing someone, Miss Marsh? It was a virtual field trip.'

"O.K. Kindergarten friends, let's sing together... 'If you're happy and you know it - and you've washed your hands for at least 20 seconds and you've squirted some sanitizer on them - clap your hands.'"

Homeschooling during lockdown

"I think John is really getting into making remote teaching videos."

Since we started online classes, I've had to get through a long, slow lesson every day. Me too. I constantly have to teach my parents how to use technology.

Breakout Room

"But I don't need to take swimming lessons. I did an online course."

'All of my degrees are from on-line universities. I guess that makes me a man of e-mails rather than of letters.'

"I virtually finished my homework."

Distance Learning II: THE SPAWNING

"Sure I'll teach you how to work your new computer, Dad. Of course, there'll be tuition."

'As a minimal step toward enabling our school's diverse software applications to interact and share data, I want you to organize a staff seminar on how to turn a computer on.'

Graduating in the Age of COVID

"Uh, I've gotta go teach a zoom class."

Ok, class, it's Sophia's turn to read her What I Didn't do on My Summer Vacation report.

"We don't call them substitute teachers anymore."