Virtual Gluten Warrior Gifts

'You fight the Gluten Hordes, make your way through the Peanut Fields, battle the Lactose King...'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

A Complex Carb.

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

'How do we know he's gluten-free?'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

Linda sets a pick, allowing Dave a clear path to the last doughnut.

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

A woman looks at the menu posted in the front window of a restaurant; a nearby sign reads "Free gluten".

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"I don't care if it is the most realistic World War II simulator game, I still refuse to salute you."

"It's gluten/carb/fat/preservative/sugar-free. Enjoy your Celery Supreme."

The Last Thanksgiving

'Of course this game is educational; how else could I prepare for a zombie apocalypse.'

The online exercise class was going rather well.

"Organic frog, tongue of gluten free dog, wing of sustainable bat..."

'This is iDiet, the fanziest restaurant in town. They've got virtual food only.'

"Look on the bright side -- At least it's gluten-free."

"Oh, sure, I eat gluten ... but only in certain restaurants."