Virtual Conversationalist Pillows

"I realise you're used to talking to me on the chat line, but would you mind not moving your fingers like you're typing everytime you say something."

"IRL sucks."

Psychiatrist communicating with his patient through computers.

Woman on the phone.

Mr Jones is not seeing anyone in person. Do you have a webcam?

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

Modern Narcissism

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Communication

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"My main worry is my anxiety."

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

Cyber Fight

"My chat bot doesn't understand me."

"Sick? No. Everything is fine. We're all just under the weather."

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

'Excuse me, could everyone be quiet, I'm trying to talk on my cellphone.'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

'Mum says we should talk more so I've subscribed you to my blog.'

Computer Dating

'I'm having the shrimp scampi. How about you?'

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

"Yethhh, hello. . .are you clothed?"

"The bad news is that the voices in my head have started text messaging me."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."