Virtual Buddy Gifts

'My friend Andy is outside with his laptop. He wants to know if I can come out and blog.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Not now, Oliver."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

Bro of Frankenstein

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"My appraisal says disappointing..." "But with a smiley face!"

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"I love college."

The morning after the night before.

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"Now just why do you think I would know how to fix the printer?"

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.

'Fred, we've been together too long!'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"Yeh, we met at University too, I was a Porter and Sharon was a cleaner."

'Hello! Don't I know you from the internet?'

'I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy and double-ribbed condoms.'

"Check it out, bro - this pneumatic tub pipes us from the frat to Wallstreet."

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

'You wouldn't think 30 years ago when we first met Stanley was the leader of the pack.'

"Do we have dental insurance?"

'Where are all these alien abductors when you need them?'

Stressed dolphins...

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

The Three Little Words every woman wants to hear - 'the football's finished'.

No I haven't finished sulking yet!

Mans best friend

'You're almost one-eighth of the way there.'