Digital Buddy Gifts

Will you be my Facebook friend?

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Moses on the web

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Burning the midnight oil.

God's Phone

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"I have an app for that."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

Pretty Soon: Robot pets won't provide the valuable life lessons flesh pets did.

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Pizza Study Party

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."