Vinyl Vulture Gifts

"Excuse me, but you're standing in the way of progressive."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Tut and Carmen.

Venus

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Distractions Of The Great

The only way to see the world is to see the world

Tourists in Egypt

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

The Rise of Modern Art

"There's more inside."

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Scarpia's Palace

'Time to buy.'

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Modern Kids.

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

"It had to go - there were historical links with slavery."

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

The London Olympic bid

"Hi! I'm on the Sphinx!"

Happy Hog - Manet

'Arcadian, Brian..it's an Arcadian evening!'

It's Whitney Houston....We have a problem!

New Orleans Will Come Back Blues.

Decaying corpse

You'll get us thrown out of the carrion Union!

Exhibition of Paint Colors.

Robert Drake

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"Frieze!"

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.