Vinyl Vanguards Gifts

Robert Drake

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"These new variants are triggering my impostor syndrome."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

The Music Lover.

Music Freak.

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

Trust me, it's scarier than the skull and crossbones ever was!

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

"You're dated look is an absolute tour de force."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"What do you think? Too Edward Gorey?"

"I just got a new high-def television, but I can't enjoy it because I have low-def eyesight."

Bell Bottom Pants

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

"You said 'give me a cool hairstyle...' You never specified which decade."

Mary Quant.

Ye Haul.

"Excuse me, but you're standing in the way of progressive."

Sleeping dummy.

Another Programme Reminding You How Much Better Music Used To Be.

'Not much to show for 25 years of investing in wine--unless maybe you add back the 9,000 empties!'