Vintage Venerator Gifts

Antiques Roadshow - "When you hear the valuation.. "

"I wonder what this was for."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

Best before 65 million BC.

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Adult Barbershop

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'

'This is a painting of your grandfather.'

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

Telephone Box

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

'Dauber Micawber'

Tea and Sugar Rationing

Elvis' autopsy

An old-fashioned printer using an Albion press.

'I told him not to touch that dial.'

Gramophone Headphone

"I ain't particular, but are you sure a '71 claret is the right choice for these here beans?"

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

'We need your exact age...'Woodstock Generation' isn't specific enough.'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

'Sorry, guys. I can't go out. I'm grounded.'

'It was great! I learned how to use dial telephones, drive a standard transmission and cook without a microwave!'

'It's to replace a download, which replaced a CD which replaced the original vinyl. Funny thing is I've never liked the album.'

"We didn't spot any of the birds we were looking for, but we did have an Elvis sighting."

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

'Hello, ACME Exterminators,,, ,,,Hello'