Vintage Stories Gifts

Dick Swiveller Wakes to see the Marchioness Playing Cribbage

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

"I'm looking for a good old-fashioned housemaid - the kind that screams when discovering a dead body."

Steve McQueen

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

At a silent moment - I don't know Slim, it's quiet.. a little too quiet.

Rudyard Kipling.

"Drat!"

"Now here's where she gets the military secrets."

". . . And I tell you that Sir Walter Raleigh used his OWN coat."

Jack and Jill

"Long story short, the video of me losing the sheep went viral on ewe-tube...and here I am!"

'Sorry Jane, I can't make it home in time. The 10-o'clock liana is delayed.'

Professor in time machine at the end of a battle "Damn watch!"

'This is a pirate moving image isn't it?'

"Gentlemen, this is Mr. Griscom, Super Films' new horror expert."

'And this is William Handler, one of the biggest stars of the '50s. . . not too smart though.'

'Thet're alright if you don't mind Caharlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

"The sixties are over, Ralph. The seventies and the eighties, for God's sake, are over. Give it a rest!"

"She never shaves her legs...can she actually be going on a date?"

"It's an old movie, back before they invented color, and everyone wore black and white back then."

Mafia Passport Photo

Grauchos

Mysterious appearance of the gentleman in small clothes

John and Dot

Little Bo-Peep searching for her sheep.

"I'm sorry, Rhett, but now I don't give a damn."

Frank N. Stein: 'Sir, there's a mob here to see you. Should I send them in?'

'Wh...what? House of straw? House of sticks? But that was so long ago!'