Vintage Internet Enthusiast Gifts

'I dare you to ask Jeeves about the birds and the bees!'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Likes: $2.

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Man doing a search on a computer

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

Early Programmers.

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

We have a nice selection of office artifacts, a typewriter, carbon paper, ashtrays, our CEO's last handwritten memo...

Old Phones Lasagne

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"The Internet ate my baby!"

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

'Try his land line.'

Forty-five words per minute? Impossible!

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

'Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Floppy Disc and Mopsy.'

"Home is where the WiFi is."

The Final Chapter.

I e-bay t-shirt.

He still refuses to upgrade.

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'