Vintage Tech Aficionado Gifts

Computers Always Down - Sorry, out of business.

'Howzat,madam? As good as new now and Parky looking ten years younger!'

Early Crank Car Phones.

Computers Anxious about being Replaced by I-Macs

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Censorship

"I figure it's some kind of medieval texting machine."

"Those must be the old-school, wearable speakers you were talking about."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Early on-line shopping

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

We have a nice selection of office artifacts, a typewriter, carbon paper, ashtrays, our CEO's last handwritten memo...

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Old Phones Lasagne

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"I know we said we'd get you a laptop,but this will have to do until business improves."

'Trevor was the first rep at the office to have a portable computer.'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

'Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Floppy Disc and Mopsy.'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

The Final Chapter.