Vintage Humor Collector Gifts

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

Generosity Unparalleled

"I keep telling you, it's running on the nights and weekends schedule!"

Trilby - 'Les glougloux du vin a quat' sous...'

'next time remember to put the lid back on the superglue!'

Hollywood Sign Developers

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Bert's dog training.'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Eat me"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

Cake Free Zone

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

A watch face with Stonehenge

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Easter Island Shades...

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

Bathroom Fairy

Vanna White: The Later Years.