Vino Vagabond Gifts

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

A giant glass of red wine

Red Wine

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

Nouveau wine

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The brochure says their wines are distinctive. I think I know why.'

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

Poet's Corner

Wine-tasting Tour.

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

'None for me, thanks. It might improve my mood.'

Great Urban Sprawl

"This jury finds the accused not guilty provided he tells us where he has hidden the money."

Paradise: Collection of wine

Alcoholic's X-Ray

'What have you got in the way of a Cabernet Sauvignon for people who like Zinfandel when they can't find Merlot?'

'White zinfandel? I said I wanted a bottle of wine for my birthday.'