Vino Vagabond Mugs

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

A giant glass of red wine

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Red Wine

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

Nouveau wine

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The brochure says their wines are distinctive. I think I know why.'

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

Poet's Corner

Wine-tasting Tour.

'None for me, thanks. It might improve my mood.'

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

Paradise: Collection of wine

Alcoholic's X-Ray

Great Urban Sprawl

"This jury finds the accused not guilty provided he tells us where he has hidden the money."

'What have you got in the way of a Cabernet Sauvignon for people who like Zinfandel when they can't find Merlot?'

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'