Verdict Vagabond Mugs

"This jury finds the accused not guilty provided he tells us where he has hidden the money."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'The brochure says their wines are distinctive. I think I know why.'

"take your best shot, counselor."

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

Poet's Corner

We also find the defendant's lawyer guilty by association.

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Innocent Mr Wilks? I'll be the judge of that.'

Should I be encouraged by your robe, your honor? No. It's just laundry day. Have a nice verdict.

Must you be so judgmental?

'We find the defendant to be TOAST.'

Great Urban Sprawl

"Not guilty." "My client's statement does not necessarily reflect the opinion of Hodal, Brown McClintock, and Stoddard."

'We find for the defendant, but we're really not too crazy about his claim.'

"Your Honor, we, the jury, find this one too close to call."

'I win some, I lose some. But I always try and send the jury home in a good mood.'

They're class action figures.

'I'm sending you to Joliet for 15 years to think about what you did.'