Vinegar Aficionado Gifts

"This vinegar's got lumps in it."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'No ice.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Join me in a Martini?

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Shaken not stirred

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Scotch and water musick."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Redhead

Prawn Cocktail Please

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"They grow up so fast."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"What'll ya have?"

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."