Vinegar Enthusiast Gifts

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Scotch and water musick."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

Redhead

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"What'll ya have?"

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

Wanna talk about it?

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

A very fine vintage

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Which Hogwarts house are you?

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."