Village Fair Aficionado T-Shirts

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Country Bumpkin.

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

Face Painting.

Tunnel of Like.

Abstract expressionist face painting.

'Our village cricket club' - An umpiring fireman responds to an emergency whilst holding all the cricket team's possessions.

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

Tunnel of Love Just Friends.

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

'Well I don't see any white dots. . . However there are tiny devils in your throat poking your tonsils.'

"The target, Lady - aim at the target!"

'Well, once it's won the prize for Biggest Marrow I shall expect you to replace my fence!'

Things at the state fair that can give you heartburn...

"Why is it you always head back to the well?" "Making a wish always makes me feel swell!"

'Then the rich townies moved into the village.'

"I don't care about winning. I care about being the best cow I can be."

Minature Village - 'It's amazingly lifelike - nobody lives there.'

The Artists Fall-Back Career 'It's an easy gig to get once you stop waxing.'

Boy asked what he admired most in the Crystal Palace answers the pies and ginger beer

A town in the middle ages.

'What am I bid for this 1,000 pound llama?' The llama thinks; 'Great. Now EVERYONE knows I'm overweight.'

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?

'A small village outside Budapest -February 16, 1407. The origin of life as we know it...'

"No fair!"

Trade Fair.

The Big Ham.

'Old Gilbert always likes to ham it up a bit.'

Dental Floss.