Village Fete Aficionado T-Shirts

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Prize vegetables.

Country Bumpkin.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

'Our village cricket club' - An umpiring fireman responds to an emergency whilst holding all the cricket team's possessions.

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

"Why doesn't Ken Burns make a documentary about this?"

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

Comedy Vicar Competition

'You remembered to bake it BEFORE the stripper got in, right?'

Turkey is disgruntled as the calendar turns to the Thanksgiving season.

Man arrives at desert island to find Summer Fete taking place: How many shells in the jar Guess the name of the Starfish

"Why is it you always head back to the well?" "Making a wish always makes me feel swell!"

'Then the rich townies moved into the village.'

'Well, once it's won the prize for Biggest Marrow I shall expect you to replace my fence!'

The Pillory: Thief, Gossip, Adulterer.

'What? -- You didn't get your letter to Santa notarized?'

Library: 'The Wit & Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.'

"Welcome to the Kit-Kat Club"

Minature Village - 'It's amazingly lifelike - nobody lives there.'

The village cinema-club was going down a treat with the locals!

Charity Shop and Faith and Hope Shops.

Merry and Bright!

Two stalls at the village fete: Kisses £5.00 and Latest gossip £2.50

"No fair!"

'A small village outside Budapest -February 16, 1407. The origin of life as we know it...'

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?

'Only 251 shopping days till Christmas. . .'

"It looks like another chain store has moved into the village."

Father and son at model village are dismayed to see workman removing the pub and Post Office.

Penguin with fish shaped presents at christmas

'My God! He must have been there since the last one!'